I Think I Can, I Think I Can….

I think I can… (Photo: Flickr: Scolirk)

I think I’m going to do it.

After several weeks of growing anxiety, my appointment with Dr. Eos today brought a strange sense of relief and calm. Nothing really has changed. I went in thinking elimination diet, and emerged thinking the same. Somehow, though, the tension has evaporated, at least for this very moment.

Some relief might come simply from having a game plan. Once we find a scope date, I count back eight weeks and that’s the diet start date. I’ll taper the budesonide at the same time so that I’m completely off of it for about two weeks prior to the EGD.

Already, the allergist has been in touch, offering to answer questions. (Does eliminating corn also mean eliminating “natural flavors” and “citric acid”?). I’ll also meet with a nutritionist in a couple of weeks, just to be sure that I won’t starve. Things are lining up!

More relief comes from getting the reassurance that this is not an insane idea. (I know it’s not. I asked: “Is this insane?” And he said, “No.”) In fact, there’s some pretty good recent evidence that elimination diets can be helpful for EoE, and Dr. Eos has seen some success with EG patients, too.

Finally, I had the sense during my appointment of just being myself and approaching things in a way that felt authentic and centered. Perhaps it’s the first time that I haven’t been dealing with my own health while also consumed with worry and then grief for my father. It’s a relief to be able to think straight again. Or perhaps it’s just the comfort that comes from having built what feels like a solid doctor-patient partnership over more than two years. Another stupid question? Whatever. It’s mine, and it gets answered respectfully. Or maybe it’s reaching the understanding that no one knows quite what to do about this disease, anyway, and there’s really no harm in trying something else.

In any case, I came home tonight and started talking bean recipes with hubby and our son. I am supported, I am loved, I am EosGirl, and I can do this.